Addiction Recovery: Mind Over Urge

Addiction—whether it involves substances, behaviors, or habits—can feel like an uphill battle. The urges, the triggers, the relentless pull to give in... it’s overwhelming, like trying to diet while trapped in a bakery. But understanding the mechanics of addiction, specifically recognizing and managing urges, can empower you on the road to recovery. Let’s break it down and explore practical ways to address these challenges. As always, with a touch of humor.

Triggers vs. Urges: What’s the Difference?

Understanding the difference between a trigger and an urge is essential for managing both.

• Triggers are external or internal events, emotions, or circumstances that spark the desire to engage in addictive behavior. For example, seeing someone drinking might remind you of happy times at the bar, or a stressful workday might make you engage in your unhealthy behavior.

• Urges, on the other hand, are the intense, immediate cravings or desires to act on that trigger. A trigger sets the stage; the urge is the bright neon sign blinking, "DO IT!"

Recognizing your triggers can help you anticipate and avoid situations that lead to urges, but what do you do when an urge sneaks up on you like a creepy spider? (Sorry spider lovers).

How Long Do Urges Last? Riding the Wave

Here’s the good news: urges, while powerful, are fleeting. On average, an urge lasts 10 to 30 minutes. This might feel like an eternity in the moment, but the key is remembering that it will pass.

You can think of an urge like a wave in the ocean. At first, it rises, building intensity, but inevitably, it crests and falls. The trick is to ride it out without letting it knock you over. Remember the urge surfing technique? Get ready to put on your visualization caps.

Urge Surfing: Mindfulness in Action

Urge surfing is a mindfulness-based technique that helps you observe your cravings without acting on them. Instead of fighting the urge or giving in, you focus on riding it out by:

1. Notice the urge: Pay attention to where you feel it in your body. Is it a tightness in your chest? A restlessness in your legs?

2. Acknowledge it: Say to yourself, “This is just an urge. It’s temporary.” (And it is. Unlike that tattoo I got back in my heyday.)

3. Breathe through it: Deep, slow breaths can help you stay calm as the wave of craving builds and eventually subsides.

4. Stay present: Instead of focusing on the craving itself, redirect your attention to the sensations of your breath or the sounds around you. (Even if it’s the barking dogs outside).

5. Detach & Re-shift: If necessary, remind yourself that the urge is not an order. You don’t have to act on it. Then re-shift your energy toward something positive.

Urge surfing is a powerful tool, but it’s not the only one in your arsenal.

Tools for Managing Urges (a.k.a. Your "In Case of Emergency, Break Glass" List)

Journal: Write down what you’re feeling during an urge. Getting it on paper makes it feel less like a monster under the bed and more like an annoying houseguest who won’t leave.

Creative Outlets: Paint, draw, write poetry, play music. If Picasso channeled his emotions into art, so can you.

Connect with Nature: Step outside and touch some grass. Literally.

Reach Out for Support: This is where your Sobriety Circle and Healing Hive are important. Call a friend, family member, trusted sources, accountability partner, or sponsor. Just be sure not to reach out to people who don’t support your journey.

Engage in Gratitude: List things you’re grateful for. Even if it’s just, "I'm not wearing itchy socks today."

Listen to Music: Blast your favorite playlist. Bonus points if it includes an 80s song. Yeah, I’m old.

Reframe the Urge: Instead of thinking, "I need this," tell yourself, "This is my addict voice throwing a hissy fit."

Physical Comfort: Cozy blanket. Fuzzy socks. Herbal tea. Boom—instant comfort cocoon.

Learn Something New: Teach yourself a magic trick, or finally learn how to fold a fitted sheet (good luck, I’m 55 and they still end up in giant heap).

Set Mini Goals: Reward yourself for making it through the moment. A little victory dance never hurt anyone.

Visualization: Imagine yourself on a beach, walking through a meadow, surrounded by puppies and kittens, or anywhere that doesn’t have temptation.

Body Movement: Dance like nobody's watching. Or, if people are watching, dance even harder.

Affirmations: Repeat: "I am stronger than this urge." Say it like you mean it. Bonus points for saying it out loud in the mirror.

Hydration & Nutrition: Drink some water and have a healthy snack. Remember B.L.A.S.T and H.A.L.T.

Mindful Walking: Take a walk and actually notice things around you, instead of doom-scrolling your phone. See the branches on the trees, the cracks on the sidewalks, and the air on your face.

Laughter Therapy: Watch a funny video. Laughter = instant mood booster.

Create a Personal Mantra: Make one that resonates with you, like "Freedom feels better than fleeting relief."

Scent as a Trigger Breaker: Smell something nice like your favorite candle. Mine is watermelon-lemonade. I also have a eucalyptus mist that I like to spray in my office and car.

Organize Your Space: A tidy space = a tidy mind. (Or at least it helps.)

Engaging in Mini Adventures: Explore a new coffee shop, park, or side street you’ve never noticed before. I visited a new café a few days ago. Oh my gosh! I got the best tarts, with the freshest fruits. Delicious. What a great mini adventure!

Building Your Toolkit (Because Batman Doesn’t Just Have One Gadget)

Managing urges is a skill that takes practice, but the more tools you have, the better equipped you’ll be. Some will work better than others, so experiment and find what sticks.

And remember: Seeking support is not a sign of weakness. Addiction thrives in isolation, but connection helps you break free. Don’t hesitate to lean on those who care about you.

Progress, Not Perfection

Recovery is a journey, not a destination. Some days you’ll feel like a Superstar; other days, you might just be hanging on. What matters is that you keep going.

So, the next time you face an urge, remind yourself: This is temporary. I am stronger than this urge. And no matter what, I’m not letting it win today.

Do you have a thought or question about recognizing or managing triggers? Let me know—I love hearing from readers and am here to support your journey. I respond to all emails, but not solicitors. Want exclusive worksheets not available on my website? Sign up for my newsletter.

Sending everyone positive vibes,
Laura

If you reach out, please be patient. I’m not a life coach anymore because of my health issues.