I experienced betrayal trauma during the disclosure of my husband's pornography addiction and everything that came with it. Thankfully, with hard work from both of us, I've healed, and he has been sober for over a decade.

When most people hear the term betrayal trauma, they think of a breach of trust in a marriage. But betrayal trauma can happen in many relationships—partnerships, families, friendships, even workplaces—anywhere trust has been deeply established.

This trauma may stem from dishonesty, infidelity, or breaches of trust, whether emotional, psychological, or even physical. If you've experienced these, my heart goes out to you. I want you to know that healing is possible, and there are different approaches to guide you on your journey.

I love the topic of boundaries. It's right up there with having an attitude of gratitude and self-care. Creating healthy boundaries is a crucial form of self-care, especially if you’re in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction. After the disclosure of my husband’s addiction, I realized just how much I misunderstood boundaries. I thought I was setting limits, but really, I was trying to control an uncontrollable situation, which made us both miserable. Through my own recovery journey, I learned that boundaries are about emotional security, not control. Here’s what helped me create healthy boundaries with compassion and respect.

Many of us in healing and recovery don’t have a clear understanding of proper boundaries. I sure didn’t until I learned about emotional sobriety. I went from being a doormat to being a control freak. Thanks to emotional sobriety, I now understand to stay in my own lane, and that it’s okay to let things go. Having the ability to establish boundaries with those around us can help us on our journey to healing, recovery, and a positive mindset.