i Quit Using, Now What?
Deciding that you're going to quit using your DOC -drug of choice - is a major life choice. It can feel overwhelming and scary, but it's also one full of hope and promise. Whether you're quitting drugs, alcohol, pornography, shopping, gambling, or another unhealthy behavior, knowing the first steps to take can help lay a solid foundation for your recovery. In this post, I’ll guide you through essential first steps, tools for your recovery toolkit, and tips for navigating relationships and setbacks.
Celebrating Your Decision to Quit
First, take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your win. As cheesy as it sounds, marking this date in your calendar can help inspire and remind you of how important this day is to you. No calendar? No worries. You can create a journal entry or buy a cheap one from a big box store. You can even get creative and add stickers, like stars. I love looking at colorful calendars with inspirational sayings in my office. This reminds me that I need to order one for next year.
If you're concerned about marking a calendar and having a setback, that's okay; setbacks sometimes happen. Mark your calendar again with a new start date, knowing you still have all the knowledge you gained. No one can take away your stars or time. Why? Because you, my friend, are a Superstar!
Exploring Recovery Approaches
Your journey is as unique as you are. Lord knows mine was all over the place through the years. What's important is that you do it safely. Here are a few of the recovery approaches out there:
Harm Reduction
California Sober
Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT)
Residential/Inpatient Treatment
Outpatient/Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP)
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
Trauma-Informed Care
12-Step Programs
Secular Recovery Programs
Faith-Based Recovery
Day One
Some things to be aware of as you begin your journey:
• There is a difference between anxiety and depression. If you're feeling overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, have thoughts of suicide, or other thoughts of self-harm, seek professional help immediately. It's an act of bravery to reach out. You can text "HOME" to 741741. The suicide hotline is 988.
• Acute withdrawal from one drug is very different from acute withdrawal from another. Be informed and be prepared. Seek medical assistance if needed. If you're going through withdrawals and need to talk to someone, you can check out my Resource Hub or contact the SAMHSA National Hotline at 1-800-662-4357. It's confidential and free.
• Be aware of PAWS (Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). It's a collection of psychological and mood-related symptoms that occur as the brain recovers from the effects of active addiction. Remember, it will pass, so please seek medical assistance if you need it.
Beginning Recovery Tools
Let's start out by getting some tools in your recovery toolkit. This will help you handle any overwhelming urges and anxiety you may encounter:
Grounding techniques (When I was dealing with overwhelming anxiety, my go-to, in the beginning, was counting and the 5.4.3.2.1 exercise – very effective!)
Breathing (I still use deep breathing. LOVE!)
Building Your Sobriety Circle
Next, we'll work on getting your Sobriety Circle together. This can be anyone, such as a counselor, life coach, sponsor, or trusted friend. You can also do this by attending a support group or 12-step meeting. The important thing is that you connect with healthy people who will support you on your journey. Remember one of my many favorite sayings: "The opposite of addiction is connection."
If you're in a relationship with someone, it's important to remember that your partner cannot be your accountability partner and vice versa. It would be best if you have three separate recovery and healing journeys. Yours, theirs, and the relationship.
Eliminating Your Stash
If you're choosing to quit your DOC completely, I recommend getting rid of it if it's a tangible substance. That means your backup stash, the "Oh, I totally forgot I put that there" stash—all of it. Get rid of your gear, too. You won't need it, and you don't need any reminders or souvenirs to tempt you.
If you're quitting something that's not tangible, like gambling, pornography, or shopping, delete the apps that could cause triggers or setbacks. If that's not possible because of work or school (be honest with yourself), you can purchase a timed locked box to help you when an urge hits. They're reasonably priced on Amazon. They can also be used if you're choosing harm reduction.
Surround Yourself with Healthy People
You know that breathing I mentioned earlier? Now would be a great time to practice some deep belly breaths because you'll need to make some difficult decisions about the people you surround yourself with. So, put your thinking caps on and figure out who is healthy for your recovery and who isn't. First on the list are people who supply you with your DOC. Obviously, cut off all contact with these folks. They're not your friends. They're making money from you or have a transactional, toxic relationship with you. All contact information goes: phone, email, social media, IM platforms - all of it.
Next is a bit more challenging to reflect on because it's people who enable you. This may mean people close to you, like your friends, family, or even your partner. I went through this, too, so I understand what you’re going through. My husband and I navigated this successfully because I was clean when I met him. Then, after the disclosure of his addiction, we both committed to our recovery and our healing at the same time and worked as asses off. It wasn’t easy. It's worth it, but it's one of the hardest things we’ve done. If both of you can do that, then success is possible, but it takes hard work from each of you.
Suppose someone isn't supporting you, or they contribute to your addiction or enable you, even if they're a family member or a good friend. In that case, you may have to put them on pause until you're in a solid place in your sobriety to re-establish contact.
You're creating boundaries for yourself, which is good even though it feels challenging. One of the coolest things about this is that all the things you’re doing now will pay off in dividends. Yes, it takes time, but your relationships will be deep, healthy, and rewarding, and because of that, your mental health is going to improve.
Rewiring Your Brain for Success
Okay, let's fast-forward a little bit; you've decided what recovery approach you're going to try, you're adding recovery tools to your toolkit, you're surrounding yourself with healthy people, and your withdrawals have passed (thank God, right?). You still feel lost and confused, and you're beginning to wonder why the F you decided to quit using in the first place.
This is normal. Your brain is adjusting to a new way of thinking. Remember, our brains are malleable. I love that word. Malleable. I think because I was repeatedly told, "Once an addict, always an addict." Now, we know our brains can be rewired and taught new pathways. Absolutely amazing. Yes, we have to be aware, but we're not powerless—we're Superstars over addiction!
I called that whisper of thought my addict voice. She was the worst. She told me the vilest things about myself and had me doubting myself. That’s because I wasn’t emotionally sober yet.
So, if you're wondering why you quit, challenge that voice in your head. Ask yourself who it is. Play the script forward and ask yourself if it's worth going back to your DOC again. The answer, of course, is “NO!” If you’re struggling with your thoughts or even situations, try putting your thoughts on trial.
Managing Setbacks with Compassion
If you do have a setback, remember to learn from it. Fall forward. Don't wallow in shame. Instead, figure out what triggered you and avoid or manage it for next time. Then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. You got this.
If you have any questions, please let me know. I answer my emails unless you’re a solicitor.
Sending everyone happy and healthy vibes,
Laura
If you reach out, please be patient. I’m not a life coach anymore because of my health issues.
