Welcome, Bookender In Recovery: You Belong Here

Hi Superstar, I’m so glad you’re here.

Whether this is your first day, your 100th day, your 100th first day, or you’ve got a few years under your belt, you’ve landed in a space built just for you. Recovery can be hard, messy, beautiful, boring, transformative and sometimes all of that in one afternoon.

I’ve been clean from my drug of choice (cocaine) for over 30 years, and I’m still learning, growing, and doing the work. This space was created from that same spirit: I’m a constant work in progress.

You’re not expected to be perfect here. Just to be yourself and hopefully open to trying some cool recovery tools.

At Bookends of Recovery, you'll find blog posts, podcasts, and free worksheets and workbooks that dive into real-life recovery topics. I talk about things like how to deal with triggers when your brain wants to lie to you, what emotional sobriety actually looks like, how to stop spiraling, how to set boundaries, and…most importantly how to laugh again.

You’ll also find reflection exercises and practical tools to help you stop white-knuckling it and start building a recovery that fits your real life, not someone else’s idea of it. No labels, no “my way is the only way,” no toxic false positivity, and definitely no shame.

What makes this space different from other recovery spaces?

Well, for starters, we talk about the messy middle. The space where you're not using, but you’re also still figuring things out. We talk about the part of recovery where you still feel anxious when your phone rings, or you get hit with grief out of nowhere, or you just want to eat Entenmann’s in the dark and not talk to anyone for three days. (Was that just me?)

You’ll also hear from me not just as someone who’s in recovery, but as someone who’s lived through the ups and downs of loving a partner in recovery too. This site honors both sides of the recovery coin because they’re both full of learning and healing opportunities.

A few things to keep in mind as you start on your recovery journey:

No One Gets a Trophy for Doing Recovery “Right”

If you’re expecting yourself to be calm, centered, and completely transformed in a matter of days…you’re gonna be disappointed. Recovery is not about getting an A+ in being clean. It’s about relearning how to live and retraining our brains to head down healthy pathways.

Right now, your only job is this: stay honest, stay present, and stay open.

That might mean:

·       Sleeping a lot (your body is recalibrating)

·       Crying over random commercials (your emotions are ping-ponging)

·       Saying “no” to people who expect the old version of you

That’s not failing. That’s healing.

What You Might Be Feeling

The early days of recovery are emotional landmines. You might bounce between pride, panic, rage, boredom, grief, and then suddenly laugh at a meme you don’t even understand.

That’s your nervous system starting to reset. Be kind to yourself.

Common feelings:

·       Shame about the past

·       Anxiety about the future

·       Guilt about relationships

·       Loneliness (yes, even in a room full of people)

Some tools to help get you started:

Journal Prompts to Ground You

Reflect on Your First Step Toward Change:

·       What finally made me say “enough”?

·       What do I want my life to look like in 3 months (not perfect, but better)?

·       What am I most afraid of right now?

Rebuilding Self-Trust:

·       When was the last time I followed through on something for myself?

·       What does integrity mean to me now?

·       Who can I talk to without shame today?

Craving Clarity:

·       What emotion usually comes before an urge?

·       What are 3 things I can do when I feel that coming on?

·       What can I say to myself when I want to give up?

Micro-Actions to Take This Week

·       Start a “Recovery Wins” list, even if it’s just “brushed my teeth today” or “didn’t text my dealer.”

·       Create a simple morning ritual (even just 5 minutes of quiet)

·       Identify one person you can reach out to for support, even if it’s just to say, “Hey. I’m still navigating this mess.”

Please, take a look around. Download a worksheet or workbook. Listen to a podcast. Check out the blog posts. And most importantly, make yourself at home here. If you have a question, feel free to reach out. That’s why I have this space, to help people just like you.

You’ve already done the hardest part: showing up. Let’s build something amazing from that.

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Sending positive vibes your way,
Laura