Self-Care & Recovery Tools
How often have you read here about how important it is to practice self-care and have tools while on your journey of recovery and healing? It would be helpful to have it in one place. I'll update it as I think of more, so keep checking back!
Thoughts On Trial
This exercise makes you stop and think, pull out the puzzle pieces of your thoughts or even situations, examine them, and challenge them.
For the blog's sake, I'll use a very basic example, and a worksheet is available.
We'll begin by putting on our thinking caps:
This may be a bit uncomfortable, but the goal is to move toward the positive:
1. Think about what happened leading up to that situation or that thought.
2. Was there an emotional trigger? A physical trigger?
3. What were your thoughts about the people who were there or who were missing? (Or the place, thing, etc.)
4. How did you feel about being there?
5. How did you feel about what you did or didn't do?
6. On a scale of 1-10 (1=very negative and 10=very positive), how do you feel about the thought/situation?
Next, we put pen to paper:
1. On a separate line, write down each thought/situation that comes to mind.
2. For each thought/situation, mark if it's a fact or if it's your opinion.
3. Example: I get migraines. Fact
4. Example: Everyone thinks they're no big deal. Opinion
5. Example: People judge me because of them. Opinion
Put your thoughts on trial:
1. Imagine you're in a courtroom. The lawyer walks over to interrogate you. She challenges the truthfulness of your opinions. For each opinion (I only did one example):
2. Write down three pieces of evidence that support the thought.
3. Example: Everyone thinks they're no big deal:
They tell me to take Advil
They tell me to change my diet
Excedrin commercials
4. Write down three pieces of evidence that go against the thought.
My family and friends "get it"
President Bush wrote a letter of support
My employer and most coworkers understand.
Review what you wrote:
After looking at what you wrote for each opinion:
1. How do you feel on a scale of 1-10?
2. Have you learned anything about the situation or yourself during this exercise?
3. Were your thoughts based on beliefs instead of facts?
4. If so, where did those beliefs come from?
5. Would you like to work on this in the future?
Me Time
Giving yourself thirty minutes of "me time" a day is important. Some things you can try are time to crochet, a warm bath, puzzles, or whatever brings you joy. I understand sometimes we feel we don't have time in our hectic schedules, but if it means getting up a bit earlier or unplugging yourself from everything and everybody at night, I feel it's well worth it. I think you'll find it rewarding.
Act Like a Kid
Get a coloring book and some crayons and color. Or some watercolor and paint by numbers, or canvas. Buy some Play-Doh or Kinetic Sand; it's great creative. Playtime is for more than just kids. It's a great stress reliever. Trust me, I know, we did it in group and everyone loved it!
Get Moving
We always talk about how important it is to exercise, but if you're someone like me – no, not old! But for those with limited exercise abilities, you still need to find ways to be active. I love to walk on my treadmill, dance and sing (the Oculus was the best gift my husband ever got me!), and walk through nature whenever I can.
Writing
I talked about journaling, but that's not the only writing that can be cathartic. You can write a letter to someone. It can be something you use to vent your anger or a nice letter to help remind you why you are that person. Just be sure to shred the nasty one so it's not found accidentally. This is an exercise, not a way to cause issues.
You can also send a card to someone. People rarely send cards by snail mail anymore. My aunts love it when I send a random note to tell them I'm thinking about them.
Guided Imagery
This is great to put in your recovery toolkit and to practice as a form of self-care because it can reduce anxiety and triggers.
Start by envisioning your favorite spot, like the beach or the mountains. Focus on your senses to enhance the image and immerse yourself in your imagination, like a vivid daydream.
Then relax one part of your body at a time so you're focused on that rather than the anxiety or trigger. Start from the top of your head and work down to your toes, relaxing each body part as you go and releasing the tension. If it helps, you can use some ambient sound in the background. I use my ambient clock or my smartphone app. You can listen to my podcast for extra help.
Mirror Talk
One of the ways I stopped my addict voice and the negative self-talk was talking in the mirror. I looked at myself in the mirror, told myself how strong I was, and reminded myself that I could handle what life was throwing at me. Don't worry about looking silly; no one is watching.
Find Your Passion
It may feel like you have too much time on your hands, or you may feel like you need help or drifting. That's a normal part of your journey. If you can find a hobby or, better yet, your passion, this will help you not only fill your time but also give you an incentive to stay motivated to keep moving in a positive direction.
I remembered how much I loved writing. I started journaling. Journaling grew to blogging, where I found an amazing community that encouraged me to volunteer in the addiction community. Over a decade later, I am still pursuing my passion for writing with the added passion of helping people.
What did you always want to do but felt you never had time or money for in the past? It can be any healthy hobby or passion that can help you redirect your energy. Here are some ideas:
Cooking
Crafting
Writing
Gardening
Blogging
Exercise
Yoga
Zumba
Painting
Ceramics
Coin collections
Paddleball
Tennis
Music
Coloring
Doodling
Coding
Learning a new language
Scrapbooking
Diamond painting
Photography
Metal detecting
Jewelry making
Volunteer
Acts of service help you as well as others, so take the focus off you and put it on someone in need instead. How can you make a difference in someone else's life? Where can you volunteer? Or a neighbor that can benefit from your assistance? Is there litter that needs to be picked up? A non-profit in your community may be a good fit for you. Whether it's your local animal shelter, your program, a homeless shelter, or a Veteran's home, people need and appreciate your help. Plus, it's a great way to get outside yourself and help others in need more than you. Service work does wonders for your healing and recovery.
Make a Doctor's Appointment
Some people neglect their health when they're recovering and healing. So, if you need a physical and dental exam, now is the perfect time.
Take Time to Zone Out
Sometimes, we need to just not think about anything serious. That's how I ended up watching Housewives of almost every city. I wanted to zone out. Not everyone is into reality television (I don't blame you), but giving your mind a mental break is important as long as we're not doing it for too long.
You can watch something funny to help reset your mood. There's nothing like a great comedy to take your mind off the heavy things. Or you can watch something sad. I know that negates what I just said, but sometimes we just need to cry. If that's the case, watch something sad, allow yourself to cry, dust yourself off, and remind yourself how much you rock!
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries
You know how much I love the topic of boundaries. This is probably because I was so misinformed about them. When I learned how to have proper boundaries and saw how much my life changed, sharing about them made me hopeful it would help someone.
Surround yourself with people who respect your recovery and healing journey. It's okay to limit contact with people who may trigger or challenge your sobriety and healing.
Practice saying no to situations or people who don't support your goals. Remember, "No" is a complete sentence. Setting boundaries is an essential act of self-care and will help keep you on track.
Emotional Sobriety
Of course, I couldn't have boundaries without including my other favorite topic: emotional sobriety.
This is the ability to feel all our emotions, the good and the bad, and then process the feelings. We learn to move through, lean into, and, most of all, not ignore them. When we're emotionally sober, we have balance in our life. When we're emotionally sober, we're comfortable in our own skin. We stand tall, embrace our flaws, and don't allow our inner self to be defined by others but to be defined by us and us alone.
So be proud of who you are and all you've accomplished. We're all destined for great things. Remember, healing and recovery are marathons, not a sprint. Go at your pace. The important thing is that you keep going.
Treat Yourself
Have you ever seen that episode of Parks and Rec when Donna and Tom celebrate Treat Yo Self Day? It's October 13th if you haven't seen it, and according to them, it's the perfect day for clothes, fragrances, massages, and fine leather goods. Sure, it's a comedy from television, but they have a great point.
We all deserve to treat ourselves. When you feel anxiety building, it's a perfect opportunity to treat yourself. Here are some things you can do:
Buy yourself a small gift
Get a massage
See a movie
Get a mani/pedi
Buy a new book
Get a new plant
Take a nap
Give yourself a break from chores or cooking for a day. If you're responsible for dishes every night, leave them in the sink or delegate the task. No one will judge how well-kept your home is; if they do, they aren't true friends. Just be sure and be kind to yourself. You deserve it and don't think for a minute that you don't.
Self-Compassion and Self-Love
Recovery is a process, and setbacks may happen. Instead of being hard on yourself, practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself with kindness and patience, just as you would to a friend going through the same thing.
The next time you're struggling, download The Self-Love Tips Worksheet and The Self Love Daily Journal to help you learn compassion and love for yourself. Then you can take the Self-care challenge!
Celebrate Yourself
Celebrating our wins, big or small, keeps us motivated and engaged in the recovery and healing process. You can celebrate yourself with anything that can help remind you of your success. It doesn't have to break the bank. Some examples are charms, coins, stamps, key tags or keys, unique shells or rocks you find on a walk, special treats, etc. These items can also be used as anchors.
If you have any questions, please let me know.
Sending everyone happy and healthy vibes,
Laura
(Side note: the website was recently updated. Please let me know if any of the links didn’t work.)
Routine
Sleep Routine
Wake up and go to bed at the same time whenever possible. This helps set the tone for your day. You can get a sunrise clock if you struggle with getting up early and starting your day. I have one, and it's wonderful. It even has a white-noise feature. I have it in my office to help me start my day during those dark winter mornings.
Morning and Evening Self Check-In
When you wake up each morning, do a self-check-in to evaluate your mental feelings and physical feelings. Notice your emotions. Use the Meet It, Greet It, Transform It Technique if needed. Think about what you have planned for your day and if you're able to meet your goals. Think about your "spoons."
At the end of your day, take a few minutes to review your day and assess how you're feeling mentally and physically. If necessary, use the Meet It, Greet It, Transform It Technique. Then, wind down by doing something relaxing, like reading, listening to relaxing music, or using a sound machine. Remember to put a glass of water by your bedside!
Hydrate
As you're doing your self-check-in, grab that glass of water by your bedside and take a few sips.
Stretch
As you finish your glass of water, you can do some stretches. This can give you a boost of energy to start your day.
Skincare routine
A simple skincare routine can be effective, easy to stick to, and doesn't require a lot of products, money, or time. In the morning, you can use a gentle facial cleanser to wash your face and a lightweight moisturizer to keep your skin soft and prevent dryness. If you have oily or acne-prone skin, look for one that won't clog your pores. Finally, apply sunscreen. Easy peasy!
Intentions
Set your intentions for the day as you do your skincare routine or brush your teeth in the morning. Remember the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Silly). Some examples are:
My intention is to attend a meeting today.
My intention is to stay grounded today.
My intention is to walk in nature today.
Journaling
I can almost hear the collective sigh across the internet as the word "journaling" was read. Those of us in recovery and healing hear it All. The. Time. Why? Why does everyone tell us to journal? The answer's quite simple: it works. There's something cathartic about clearing out the gunk in our brains, putting it from pen to paper or keyboard to screen. Need help getting started? No worries, I got your back.
Daily Gratitude
Sometimes, it can be challenging to find gratitude. Especially if we're in the midst of healing. I had to choose happiness. Happiness didn't choose me. Gratitude played a big part in healing, recovery, and my perspective on things. I had to make it a part of my daily routine. I started with the little things. I was grateful to look out the window and see a red robin outside, green leaves on the trees, white puffs of clouds in the sky, or smell the air after a good rainstorm.
When something negative happens, is there a way to see past it and see an opportunity to grow from it? Can you choose happiness today? This journal may help.
Gratitude List
A gratitude list is a great way to remind yourself of all the good you have in your life. List ten things you're grateful to have. Challenge yourself to think of things aside from the biggies like family, house, and the like.
Affirmation Cards
You can start and finish your day by reading your affirmation cards. These are positive "I" statements. I had mine on colorful index cards and carried mine with me so I could read them throughout the day to combat the negative thoughts when they arose. Some creative people I worked with decorated theirs. Here are some examples, or you can use my worksheet:
I am strong
I am beautiful
I am confident
I feel good about my body
I am worthy
I am thinking loving thoughts about myself
I am unique and special
I am stronger than my triggers
I am healing
I am calm
I am relaxed
I am at peace
I am supported
I am loved
I am powerful
Meals
While we can't always schedule what time we can take a break to eat, eat around the same time each day and make sure you're eating a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
If you're like me and enjoy snacking in between meals, try to find healthy snacks. Don't feel like you have to abstain from a sweet treat now and then; we just need to make sure we're not substituting one thing for another.
Support System
A support system is an integral part of your self-care and recovery team. You can't be expected to carry all this alone. Participating in a community fosters connection, empathy, and learning opportunities. Who makes up your Sobriety Circle? This can be anyone from a counselor, life coach, sponsor, or trusted friend. You can also do this by attending a support group or 12-step meeting.
If you're the loved one of someone struggling, you can create your own Healing Hive to lean on when times are challenging. Like the person struggling, it can be comprised of a support group, a trusted friend, or a 12-step meeting. Anyone who understands what you're going through.
Even if you haven't told anyone about what's going on in your world, you can still reach out to someone and talk about a movie you just watched or get an idea for a recipe. If you want, you're welcome to email me. I’ll write you back, no strings attached. Unless you’re a solicitor or a stalker. Then, I’ll delete it and move on.
Don't be afraid to reach out to a professional. I'm a life coach, but I'm not a trained therapist. Mine helped me navigate through my relational trauma and abuse. She is fantastic, and so much of my healing is because of her. One of the best forms of self-care I did for myself.
Not sure where to start? Check out my Resource Hub for help getting started.
Grounding and Breathing Techniques
Grounding and breathing techniques are a great way to get into the present moment and stop triggers and spiraling negative thoughts and anxiety dead in their tracks. There are so many grounding and breathing options to choose from, too. How cool is that? You can even try Fingerholds – another one of my favorites!
Safe Space
For those of us in recovery and healing, knowing how to handle challenging days and moments is an essential part of our recovery and healing journey. And it's much better than having One of Those Days! like Limp Biscuit. Having a safe space at home can help alleviate stress and calm our nerves while promoting and maintaining a positive mindset. It's also a perfect place to go when you're experiencing a trigger.
You'll need to pick a comfy spot. If you don't have an extra room, that's okay. Some of us may need to be a bit creative.
Then, make it neat and tidy. A clean space leads to a calm mind. If you need to do some decluttering, now is a great opportunity. If decluttering feels overwhelming, do it a little at a time. Create SMART goals so it doesn't feel like such a huge task. Chunk it down.
You can make yours by adding things that make your heart smile. This can add a more meaningful connection to your safe space and help calm you during those challenging moments.
Your safe space can grow and evolve with your recovery and healing. Respect your safe space, always enter it with good intentions, and ask other people to do the same.
W.H.Y. STATEMENT
Your W.H.Y. Statement is designed to keep you focused and on track. What is your why? What is your purpose for wanting long-lasting sobriety? What is your reason for wanting to heal? What made you decide to support your loved one?
W.H.Y. Statement
I designed this acronym to help get you started:
W = What
H = How
Y = Yes!
W is What. What motivates you? What excites you about your future when you make this positive change in your life? Why do you want to change? When you close your eyes, what is that burning passion that can keep you motivated? Try to list as many whys as you can.
H is How. How will you make these changes? How can you maintain this change? What reasonable, maintainable goals can you create? When do you want to start? What is your game plan if you go off track?
Y is Yes. Yes, you can do this! Remind yourself every single day what a fantastic human being you are, no matter how you feel in the moment. Do something to affirm your awesomeness! This means being your own cheerleader. Something that many of us are not used to doing.
This is where the saying, "Fake it til ya make it," comes into play. Sometimes, even when we don't feel like we're amazing, we need to remind ourselves that "I'M A SUPERSTAR!" because we are.
Recovery/Healing Mission Statement (R.H.M.S.)
A Recovery/Healing Mission Statement (R.H.M.S.) and a W.H.Y. Statement are great tools to keep you moving forward.
R.H.M.S.
Your R.H.M.S. is the vision you see of yourself and the destination that your recovery and healing will lead you to. You want it to be short and sweet, like me. So, keep it down to a few sentences and read it to yourself daily. Your R.H.M.S. will grow and evolve with you as you move through your journey, so be sure to keep it updated so it will continue to motivate you.
Recovery and Healing Toolkit
A recovery and healing toolkit is perfect for those challenging, anxiety-producing moments when you feel like things are getting out of your control. It's a place to mentally and physically store the tools you've picked up along the way. The toolkit consists of three areas: a mindfulness exercise, creating a go-bag, and being aware of your body.
Begin by tuning into your body. Be aware of the beginning signs of triggers and anxiety.
• Is your heart racing?
• Is your breathing getting shallow or quickening?
• Are your thoughts racing or slowing down?
• Are you hyper-focused or fixated on something?
• Can you feel your thoughts turning negative?
• Is there an odd sensation in your stomach?
• Are you trembling?
• What is your mind trying to tell you through your body?
If so, utilize your mental go-bag. Start by trying to step back, pause, and ground yourself. Take a moment to notice what's around you. Be mindful of where you are, who you're with, and your situation. Also, be aware if you're trying to avoid anyone or anything, including emotions. Then, use mindfulness grounding techniques to relax, such as deep breathing or guided imagery.
If mindfulness isn't working, you can utilize your physical go-bag. Think of this go-bag as your emergency response kit for when your body sends out an S.O.S. It can help if the items inside engage all your senses. When you're feeling anxious, you can reach inside and grab something, use it, and feel a bit better. If you're still feeling triggered or anxious, reach in again and use something else until you're in a calmer state.
Go-Bag ideas:
• Journal
• Notepad
• Sketchpad
• Gratitude list
• Worksheets
• Favorite quotes and lyrics
• Recovery book(s)
• Non-recovery books
• Favorite pictures (people, places, events)
• Affirmation cards
• Coloring book
• Favorite t-shirt
• List of numbers of safe people to call
• Dryer sheet
• Lotion
• Intention candle
• Small soft blanket
• Favorite warm socks
• Healthy snack
• Fidget toy
• Bottled water
