Have you ever had "one of those days?" What about "one of those moments?" For those of us in recovery and healing, knowing how to handle challenging days and moments is an essential part of our recovery and healing journey. And it's much better than having One of Those Days! like Limp Biscuit. Having a safe space at home can help alleviate stress and calm our nerves while promoting and maintaining a positive mindset. It's also a perfect place to go when you're experiencing a trigger.

Have you ever been ready to take a big step forward and suddenly, you freeze? That fear of the unknown can feel overwhelming. You might think, “I’m just not going to do it today.” Guess what? I’ve been there too. Fear can be crippling. So, what do we do with fear? There are two ways we can respond to fear: 

“Forget Everything and Run”, or “Face Everything and Rise.”

Which one will you choose?

Hopefully, you chose “Face Everything and Rise” so you learn about the powerful techniques: playing the script ‘til the end and the stop sign technique. I’m going to use a common example, but these techniques can be applied to just about anything you’re feeling fearful or anxious about.

In my last post, we did the first half of the Setback Prevention Plan. This plan is designed to help you have a proactive approach toward your recovery versus a reactive one. This is a great way to handle challenging moments, urges, situations, and emotions that may lead you to a setback in recovery and healing.

If you have a setback, come back, and evaluate what needs to be adjusted in your Setback Prevention Plan. Remember, this is a no-shame zone. Dust yourself off, learn from the setback, and keep moving forward.

Last week, I talked about what steps to take after a setback. This week, I’ll share about taking a more preemptive way of thinking by implementing a Setback Prevention Plan. This plan is designed to help you have a proactive approach toward your recovery versus a reactive one. This is a great way to handle challenging moments, urges, situations, and emotions that may lead you to a setback in recovery and healing.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: For most people, setbacks are a part of the addiction recovery journey. That doesn't mean every single person will experience them, but many will. When they happen, the important thing to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn from them. The last thing we want is to wrap ourselves up in a blanket of shame. That’s why want to focus on the steps to take after a setback, versus the setback itself.

For addiction, the triggers are usually people, places, or situations that make us want to use our DOC or engage in an addictive behavior. When faced with a trigger, urge surfing helps you "ride out" the intensity of the temptation without giving in.

When someone experiences betrayal trauma (usually from infidelity, broken trust, or deception), our emotional responses feel overwhelming. Urge surfing helps us "ride out" these emotional waves without acting impulsively, allowing us to create space between the emotional response and our actions, which gives us a better chance at healing in a healthy way and more quickly.

This post is for people wondering if they or their partner may be a pornography addict (PA), sex addict (SA), or sex and love addict (SLA). I’m writing this based on my experiences because I’m not a licensed therapist. I’m a wife who has experienced betrayal trauma because of this disease. Over the coming months, I’ll share more about the addiction from my work with PA, SA, and SLA. I’ll also share the partner side of it. 

When we're in the process of addiction recovery and healing, one of the challenges we face is staying motivated. Whether you're new to recovery or healing or on your journey for a while, being stagnant can lead to a slippery slope.

This also holds true for anyone in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction. We need to make sure that we stay motivated to take care of ourselves, put ourselves at the top of our priority list, and maintain our boundaries.