How many of us have wondered why we struggle to connect with people or communicate effectively or why maintaining healthy relationships is challenging? Our family of origin, or FOO, may be a contributing factor. If you haven't heard of it, no worries; I didn't either until I was well into my journey of emotional sobriety. Our family of origin is the people who play a critical part in raising us.

How compassionate are you to others? When a family member or loved one is in pain or sick, do you want to help them in some way? What if they lose their job? Are you inclined to offer words of support and encouragement and let them know how valuable they are and that you’re there for them if they need you? Why is that? Because you’re caring. You have empathy. You have love in your heart.

Today’s acronym is a great reminder to take a moment to breathe before jumping into something in the heat of the moment. Especially if you’re in an argument, anxiety, or a trigger.

Pause

Action

Until

Serenity

Emerges

Have you ever heard a word that immediately made you cringe? For some, the word is “moist.” For others, it’s any abbreviated word or phrase like “rizz” for charisma or “ship” when someone wants to see two people as a couple.

For me, it was hearing the word codependency. I hated that word for such a long time. I prided myself on being an independent woman and despised any suggestion that I wasn’t. I didn’t want to be forced into a label that didn’t fit me. How could a recovering addict be codependent? It didn’t make sense to me.

I can almost hear the collective sigh across the internet as the word “journaling” was read. Those of us in recovery and healing hear it All. The. Time. Why? Why does everyone tell us to journal? The answer’s quite simple: it works. There’s something cathartic about clearing out the gunk in our brains, putting it from pen to paper or keyboard to screen. Whether you love to write or despise it, journaling is a great addition to our recovery and healing toolkit.

I’m a doer when it comes to learning and absorbing. Even in school, I absorbed new things by writing them down. It’s probably why I’m also a visual person, it helps my brain put things together. After I got my ACC in life coaching, I continued to get certified in cognitive behavioral coaching and that’s where I learned about putting our thoughts on trial. It’s another great tool to add to our recovery toolkit. This exercise makes you stop and think and pull out the puzzle pieces of your thoughts or even situations and examine them, then challenge them.

Which one are you:

Friend: "That hairstyle looks great on you. It frames your face perfectly."

You: "Really? I just wanted it out of my eyes."

Or:

Friend: "That hairstyle looks great on you. It frames your face perfectly."

You: "Thank you, I appreciate knowing it looks good."

Almost fifteen years ago, my sponsor and I were talking after a meeting, and there was a share that she wanted me to reflect on. When I explained that there wasn't much I could relate to about the share, she said, "Drop the rock."

I had no idea what she was talking about.

She said, "Your ego."

Then, she shared the parable with me. As I listened to her I realized I really had some core work to do. The parable goes: